A Token of Trust

I have a lot of confusions when I received a small red box which has a shiny circular thing inside. Aside that I do not wear such on a daily basis, I have this thinking that this thing, even if small, when given to someone is associated with a serious expression of something depending on the meaning one puts in it.

Bewildered, I asked the person who gave me that thing and he directly answered. (knowing that he has a straightforward personality) From among the words I heard around and from that person’s premise, I can recall one significant word he said — Trust.

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To many, ring could reveal romantic intention and intimate relationship that is given to someone that makes your heart flutter every second of everyday. Primarily between couple. Although this is entirely the common notion and holds true most the time, I do not belong to this category at this point in time. So in this case, I am more concern to what the message that person wants me to know for giving me such thing on his special day.

He simply said, “Trust”. What does he mean by that?

Giving this ring, for him, is not just commitment and devotion. This represents how  sure he is with what he feels at the moment and he is bound to prove the sincerity of his intent to pursue. Beyond what his words can explain is a feeling he evaluated many times which according to his assessment is real.

“For once, just slowly learn to trust. Observe, feel and allow me to manifest honesty in my words through my efforts because I already decided.”

Trust. How do I start investing trust to someone I know for less than a year?

With my existence in this lifetime, I have tendency to be too trusting of others or not trusting enough. Either of the two, I learned from previous experiences that I should not compare one encounter from the other because it will be unfair to me and to the new people I will meet.  Even if it is a form of risk, I try to steer clear of my doubts and uncertainties. It will be unreasonable to some people if I treat them unjustly only because I have experienced that people I began to trust before suddenly disappeared. Perhaps it’s a common feeling when someone from the past destroyed our trust that we began to build up walls around us and in the end we become cynical and over thinkers. It’s unavoidable, but instead of comparing one from the other why not we make it as our guide and a stepping stone to learn, stay aware, and see beyond the wall. I am sensitive when it comes to trusting, that it sometimes breaks me into tears of which I can’t control.

pssst. Now I am open to trusting another person

I learned exactly that I must not allow those betrayals of trust to ruin my chance to know someone deserving. Yes, trusting must be a very fragile thing — a glass that once broken will never be the same again, but I am trying everything not to let those permeate my decisions, instead move an inch forward and begin to trust.

To the ring that symbolizes trust, I am putting it on to imply that I am starting to build certainty in between the gap of two people who were just strangers months ago. That I am grateful to know someone who keeps going on in life. That I appreciate every single effort I see and feel.

They say that the more similar two people, the greater the trust between them. I guess this does not apply to us, because we are two parallel lines. But let us try to be on the same line soon. Running next to each other.

Rest assured, this token will be kept.

#notodriftingapart

Back on Track

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Again, we had a field work in preparation for the hosting of the upcoming Regional Directors’ Meeting. It was not as haggard compared to the previous field works; however, my mind was exhausted due to the pending office works I have to defer for this one.

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While our artist was busy operating the drone, here we were enjoying this vast pineapple plantation at Camp Phillips, Bukidnon.

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Because I had a goat dish for lunch, this was the result. There’s something strange in my belly after eating 😥 (notice the vaporin in my right hand)

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With the newbie in our unit, Gab, who is such a talented young man in terms of video editing and the one operating our Phantom 3 drone camera.

Among the sites visited:

a. East-West Lateral (Talakag, Baungon & Libona, Baungon)

b. Phividec – Alae Road

c. Damay – Calabugao

d. Sayre Widening

 

How is it really?

I have an account in a question-and-answer site where I asked random questions which I believe will be clear to me if some people from the other parts of the world would answer. Whenever I feel like no one from the people I know can answer me directly, I post question in this site and good thing that minded and interesting people from somewhere around the globe answer. Since I have an option of asking anything, I make use of it and now became one of my favorite sites to visit if I am online. Aside from the mentioned above, I also meet various individuals here that share their personal view about my uncertainty.

Last week I asked something which I already have an answer, but I still want  to hear opinions from others. As expected, the answers were quite interesting. Here I will share some:

My question

Should you give your 100% love?

Answers posted in response:

a. From M. Yang (Doctor Management & Leadership, Academic Research (2016))

Yes – because when it works out, you reap the benefits beyond your wildest dreams. I’m assuming you are asking for the scenarios when things may go awry. Well, how do you know it didn’t work out because you didn’t give your best?

Love is an investment. You may strategically up the investments as you are gaining dividends. And if the relationship did not reach full maturity, I could see why 100% was not achieved. However, for the relationship that has reached that level of value, less then 100% would be a disservice to yourself.

Peace & Love,

M

b. Scotia Videen (Multilingual Computing Intern at U.S. Army Research Laboratory (2015-present))

No.

Save love for yourself. Take yourself on dates. Spend time with yourself. Have energy for yourself. Never love someone so much that you forget who you are, what you are, why you love yourself. You don’t need to give everything to someone who won’t love you back.

But also, Yes.

If they love you truly, as well, you don’t need to hold back your love. They will love you enough to want you to succeed, to thrive. They won’t let you put them above yourself because they care for you, truly. You’ll want to look after yourself to be there for them. You won’t spend all of your time, money, energy on them, because you’ll want to save it for your future together.

c. Jack Cash

Yes- in every second of your existence to everything and everyone.
Only a rare few have ever done this but each one who did raised the
energy level in this dimension.

I also have a discussion about this to a friend who believes that doubt comes right after if you can’t give a full love. For him, obtaining trust and love comes from giving 100% of your love as well. He even mentioned this, “mathematically speaking 100=100″and is a two-way process. That friend of mine believes of giving 100% of his love to someone he’s in love with.

However, I don’t stand on the same view as him. For me, when you give a 100% love to a person, you make yourself on the last list. You less likely to value yourself because you are busy valuing someone. It is really a ‘must’ and a ‘should’ to give because through it you can express your emotion; however, not all the time and not in all cases. I believe that we must do everything in MODERATION. Meaning, it should be within reasonable limits. Not too much in everything. Because when that person leaves you, what else do you have if you already put everything into it. Most of the people exaggerate the term ‘giving’ to something that will drain them after.

Love and give, but always remain your identity alive. Through it, you can effectively love the person in front of you. It is preserving 🙂 (with that I rest my case).

Well, it is on a case-by-case basis I believe.

p.s. just my opinion 🙂 peace!

Sway Under the Rain Dear

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Pluviophile (n.) Whatever you pronounce it, I am one. Someone who finds comfort in the rain. I live for this weather. I find comfort in it that its sound is a rhythm to my heart. Whenever it rains, my heart flutters so much that I can think of stillness and sudden comfort. I feel that there is forgiveness when raindrops fall. It’s like chances after chances.

There is something in rainy season that I love about. It enables me to think calmly and decide objectively. It opens the door to mysterious happiness and serenity that can’t be explained. I tend to forget about the materialistic world and stand as a simple person who just love rain.

During this season, it’s not always happy thoughts. There is also sadness somewhere in my heart. Words unspoken and promises from some people that never happened. I can clearly recall these things when it’s raining; however, even if these just crossed my mind, the rain can calm me. Instead of mourning for those who are gone, rain teaches me to just remember happy memories behind these bitter endings.

And practically rain is a bliss after few days of hot, unforgiving sun! Right? 

In my life right now, there is also a season when heavy rain comes. But instead of asking for a lighter rain, I am praying for a stronger umbrella. And sometimes we need to get drenched with rain, get wet and feel every raindrop.

Today it’s raining. Perfect for a cup of chocolate and a book ❤ And also good to think. Oh, this peaceful feeling… Come and let’s sway under the rain.

p.s. I like rain, but not lightning and thunder.

From the Gang to you JC

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Team Pabukid will surely miss someone who we can rely on when we plan on birthday celebration and work out, when the team needs someone who will initiate get together and someone who completes the original Mountaineering Gang. From your sibs in DPWH Regional Office X, we pray for good guidance and best luck as you are on your way for another milestone. Though this will be difficult at first, dealing with new people and another working environment, just remember that this is a career growth so you have to fully embrace this and just be thankful.

Don’t be a stranger because we will meet again the soonest. More ‘hellos’ in the future JC 🙂

Message from the people who climbed with you, laughed with you and celebrated with you. ’til next time Engineer? 🙂

The Grey World

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I live in a demanding world. Sometimes difficult to understand, very competitive, you keep running and working and chasing — no contentment. Full of people — the greedy, the martyr, the broken, the hopeless, the depress, the forlorn, the desperate, the mad. We hang onto proving our worth, fight for our rightful place, strive for belongingness, seek for attention and work for our value into someone’s life.  Noises come at once that I can’t hear any sound at all. That single voice, I can’t hear it.

It’s tiring. I get exhausted.

I become every so often worn-out that all I want is a complete shutdown of everything and be quiet for a bit— even for a second. No noise. No voices.  Just me and the empty universe. The stars, moon and the dark sky. Whispering in the air and breathing freely.  My soul is at its liberty that it floats.

Solitary.

Unaccompanied.

Alone.

I want inner peace. True harmony. Myself. Just me. But I must admit it, I can’t have this because I am living in a demanding world. Right?